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A guy had an interesting experience recently involving an “older” woman he met at a bar.

She looked pretty darn HOT for 62. She was drinking quite a bit and, while they were chatting, she came right out and asked him if he’d ever had a “sportsman’s double” - a mother and daughter threesome.

He said no, but she might be able to talk him into it. So she slams back one last drink, wipes her mouth and, looking directly into his eyes, says, “Tonight’s your lucky night.”

So they go back to her place, she clicks on the hall light right as they enter her place, and she shouts upstairs:

“Mom! You still awake?”

Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good,but never actually come close to reality?
Well, he re is a series of promises that actually speak of true
friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against
    the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how
    much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused — I will use little words.
7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well
    again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath….. I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask ?,
    ”Because you are my friend”.

 Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you
 can feel the true warmth.